If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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