her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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