the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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