Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We don't watch enough power rangers
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
