I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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