Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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