Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
