Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
this will be a night to untag.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize