were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
