I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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