I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
