I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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