I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
