How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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