New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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