And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
