The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
