His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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