And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
