Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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