i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
