She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm like, not good at living.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
