is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
