Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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