Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
