at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
