I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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