Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
