We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
