yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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