there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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