Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
