'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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