I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
