Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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