so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
