I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
