I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
