In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
