i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize