did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
