Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
