Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
