I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just threw up on my dentist
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
