my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
dude i'm inner monologue high
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
