ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize