Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
