let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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