Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
