Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
