All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
