so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
