Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
