....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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