I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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