Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Couch. On fire.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
