youre lurking in front of me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Just pee around me
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
