No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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