Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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