so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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