Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
